Good News, Bad News...

So, yesterday we made an appointment to have my finger amputated. We met with Kaiser Permanente's hand specialist, Dr. Hoffman, and as soon as he saw the x-ray from Monday, he said "That doesn't look good." He said that at least two more surgeries, months of physical therapy, and possible permanent damage to the other fingers due to immobilization would net me a stiff finger. I asked when we could cut this sucker off so I can get on with my life. On the 19th, exactly two months after the accident, I'll go back in for an out-patient procedure where they'll remove the finger where it joins the hand. They'll save a flap of the padded part underneath (which is thankfully intact) an fold it up and over to cover the gap. This will unencumber the other fingers and hopefully accelerate the physical therapy. The doc said that dropping things through the gap and an ouchy spot are the main drawbacks. He said that they could remove the structure inside the hand that supports the middle finger, fanning the hand smaller, and essentially closing the gap, leaving me with a Mickey Mouse hand. I suggested we wait and see how bad the gap issue was because that's a pretty major surgery. I asked if I could keep the finger in a jar. Evidently there's some health codes involved and they consider that biohazardous medical waste. The doc also said that I should get my grip strength back. The nurse apologized when she said the surgery will have a $200 copay. Kim and I just laughed. We still haven't gotten a bill from Stanford yet, so maybe, just maybe they've written it off and I won't have to declare bankruptcy. We're already on a payment plan with the ambulance company or they were going to send me to collections.

It's funny how easy it is to deal with an amputation that happened in a nanosecond out in the shop, and how much trepidation I'm having with a premeditated procedure in ten days that will set me free. Skip and the band dedicated the "Pirate Parts" song to me last night. I didn't expect yesterday's blog entry to be so ironically poignant.

The good news is that this will all be over much sooner that rehabbing the current configuration. Very little bone growth caused the doc to surmise another six weeks of pinned finger unpleasantness. I'm looking forward to using the gap as a pool cue guide.

I'm also dealing with the fact that I asked Stanford to amputate it seven weeks ago. When asked why Stanford did the reimplantation, Dr. Hoffman was understandably reticent to bad-mouth another doctor who "successfully" reimplanted my finger. He did mention something about saving what can be saved and about reimplantation being a young doctor's game. I've read the Hippocratic Oath, and it's just as vague about reimplantation as the Constitution is about gay marriage. He also mentioned that some doctors to expensive and unnecessary surgeries expecting to get paid by the insurance company. HA! We totally punked him on that one.

I was going to take pics of my right hand and do some Photoshopping, but I figure I'll be seeing the real thing soon enough. Oh, more good news - I'll be having the stitches removed the day before we leave for Hawaii (Kim's B-day), and the doc says I can go surfing and swimming with the dolphins if I feel up to it.

Before the doctor's appointment yesterday, I took the personality assessment test for West Marine. I hope I have one. There were a lot of redundant questions about my energy level, how uncluttered my workspace is, etc.

Kim had an interesting take on the fact that there are two candidates vying for two store management positions in the Bay area that I hadn't put together - there are two finalist for the Oakland position. There's a very good shot that the other applicant will get the Pleasant Hill one. Interesting... Of course the smaller store pays less, but I think there'll be much less hassle. We're already looking in Benecia and Crockett for a rental that has a garage and accepts dogs that behave more like throw rugs.


Thanks again to Michelle...